Grandmas Goulash

Squash that Bug!  “Your tires need air. Your oil is low. Get a wash.” He should tell Red to get off his back, but he was too yellow.  Red always vied for top place. (30)

After my freshman year in college, I took a job as a waitress in the dining room of a local hotel. Prior to that time, my only restaurant and hotel experience had been as a customer. I had never thought about the people, supplies and planning needed to make a hotel or restaurant successful.  Although I was smart enough not to voice my opinion, I considered myself superior to many of the permanent employees. For me, it was a temporary job; they were permanently stuck in these no-brainer positions. The manager of the dining area must have heard my unspoken words. She never discussed my attitude, but that summer I got an education I hadn’t planned on.  She started by teaching waitressing skills and I learned it took some smarts to correctly “read” my customers and tailor my service to their needs. It took a good memory as well. Soon I was in awe of a waitress, who could take orders for a table of twenty and never make an error, even when the diners kept changing their ...

I caught up on tech news as I sipped my morning coffee. It’s been seven years since I left the IT workforce and this is one of the ways that I try to keep current. It’s not always an effective technique. The speed of change in technology frequently leaves my head spinning and I’ve considered having a scarlet “D” (that’s for dinosaur) placed on my forehead.  This morning, however, I had no trouble understanding the news that Apple had prevailed over Google in an iPhone-related dispute.  The case, filed by Motorola Mobility in 2010 and inherited by Google with its purchase of that company last year, revolved around touch screen capabilities that sense the location of the user’s head and prevent head movement from causing an inadvertent hang up.  It brought back memories of my first cell phone. Although it didn’t have a touch screen, it had the usual buttons, including the one that ended a call. Although I am not known for physical coordination, I could unerringly ...

I know times are tough, but I suspect you’ve got stolen dough in your backpack. I hope you’ll rise to the occasion and confess your crime.   I sent you to the store, so why are you staring at the water? Did you get everything that I knead?   You fed the entire batch of bread to the ducks? I’m gonna punch you down, girl.   No, I don’t think your brain is filled with sawdust. The last time the doctor used his  otoscope , he could only see flour. 

“Why is Junior laying down?” “He heard he was a Fall leaf.”   Mrs. Oak became discontent with her bronze attire after seeing her neighbors saturated in gold. Any Olympic viewer knew the difference.  He was wrinkled, brittle and needed a prop to stay upright. Getting old was tough, but it beat what came next. 

In their youth, he’d romanced her with amorous looks and fine dining. Now he didn’t even bother to look at her as they waited for food.   They used to hike for hours without a break. Now they walked for five minutes and rested for fifty.   He wouldn’t admit they were lost and refused to ask for directions. Some things don’t change.