Grandmas Goulash

Exercise used to be free. As a kid, I jumped rope, climbed trees, played tag and explored the woods behind our house. I grew up and switched to long distance bicycle jaunts and hiking to stay fit. Even with the cost of my three-speed bicycle, exercise was still cheap. Over the years, that has changed a lot. My friend bemoaned the cost of sports fees for four athletic children. Hundreds of dollars to play baseball? What happened to a ball and bat on the back lawn? Dance class fees are exorbitant and that’s before they sock you with costume, recital and other special fees. Yesterday, a friend Facebooked that she had started doing yoga. I figured that was an activity that shouldn’t be too pricey. Wrong again. She’s out trying to  find yoga blocks , a mat, rings and balls. The mat needs a carrying bag or strap, the pillows and bolsters need covers and the balls (three types) need bases and a pump. Then, of course, there is the cost of instructional materials. Yikes! I’ll stick...

With fingers as numb as her smiling lips, the model wished for a smaller camera, even though engineers claimed it was impossible.   Times were tough, but the Joneses kept up appearances. She dressed as a maid and hid his bag lunch in a camera case.  

Everyone has their skills. We have our weak spots too. I’ve always been a bit car illiterate. Sure, I know how to drive. After forty years of accident-free driving, auto insurers love me, although the  metal fabrication  industry may be less than enthusiastic about my record. When it comes to repairs, however, I’m both clueless and unmotivated. In my youth, my dad took care of repairs. When I got married, the torch was passed to my husband. Nothing prepared me for my first venture into a repair shop. “You need new joints, Ma’am”. Considering my arthritic knees, I wasn’t in a position to argue, but what did that have to do with my car? The mechanic saw my bewildered look. “You need a  CV joint repair .” “It just clicks a bit. Can’t you squirt some oil on it?” For just one second, his face appeared incredulous. Then he grabbed pen and paper and began a lecture as endless as my college chemistry professor’s. My mind drifted to that evening’s dinner as he rambl...

Our three cats are part of the family, but yesterday, I was thinking of sitting all of them next to the curb with a sign reading “Free to Good  ANY Home”.  Our new recliners already are showing signs of kitty claw punctures. Our youngest cat loves to tear down the hall, streak across the living room and leap to the back of a recliner. He’s got the timing down, rarely pulling this stunt when we are there to scold him. No, he waits until the early morning hours. It’s hard to sleep through the sound of his rampage, but by the time we get out of bed, he’s sitting sweetly by the window. “Who? Me?” his innocent expression asks. I console myself with the knowledge that we didn’t purchase pricey chairs. That doesn’t go well with either pets or small children. Still, I’d hoped they’d keep that new perfection for just a little longer. We had a hard time finding the right table and, when we did, it wasn’t inexpensive. We squirted any cats who tried to jump up on it and thought...

Sunny had always been the hub of attention.Even with the shades, the paparazzi wouldn’t leaf him alone.

Fresh From The Deli Breakfast and lunch looked delicious, but where was dinner? Maybe A Belly? “Have you seen Junior, Goldie?” “No. I hope he hasn’t gotten into something.” Said With A Sigh Appearances to the contrary, I don’t think we see eye to eye. Never Say Die Smokey began the ancient feline ritual: hug ‘em and chug ‘em. 

I looked around an apartment stacked high with unpacked boxes and wondered what I had gotten myself into.   When I'd made the decision to move, I'd felt confident that it was the right choice.  My job had been secure, but with little chance of advancement.  I wanted to continue my education, but lived hours away from the closest university. I spent my nights working in a position that had limited human contact and my days caring for my toddler and trying to catch a little sleep.   Far too little sleep.  I was constantly exhausted  and knew that something had to change.   A year of searching for another position convinced me that I wouldn't find it in my rural and economically depressed community.  I began to widen my search.  When I was offered a position with a university, it seemed like a dream come true.  I would even receive free tuition benefits.  The dream had just one catch; it was over four hundred miles away from m...