Grandmas Goulash

They used to perform for audiences of a thousand. Now they’d been banished to playground. The guys should quit clowning around.

I remember the day, when people weren’t thrilled about keeping in touch. Remember the pager? That obnoxious little device ruined the end of movies, disrupted restaurant meals before the main course was served, and cut symphony concerts short after a few measures. They were referred to as “the world’s longest chains” by those of us, who were required to carry them for our jobs. We’d threaten to give them a swimming test. It was supposed to be a joke, but for many of us, it was just a beep away from the truth. One coworker actually dropped her pager in the toilet. She claimed it was an accident. Sure. . Pagers are still around today, but most have been replaced by cell phones, which enjoy a far better reputation. That’s not surprising. Even the early ones provided personal benefit. I was thrilled that my first cell phone included free long distance calls. If you’d ever seen my long distance phone charges, you’d understand why. Today, of course, they do almost everything except your laund...

Women get so grouchy, when you forget an anniversary. A romantic beach walk had been last minute, but inspired.  Hand in hand, they moved towards the water, never dreaming that killer sharks might make this their last walk. 

It was the last time that Harry would forget Mother’s Day.  Ma’s fury made a lion-filled arena seem inviting.  Rex and Polly had heard the Constitutional promise of domestic tranquility. Apparently, the humans had not.  

To their credit, Harry and Emma could still make the climb. Fifty years ago, the view had been much clearer. Was it cataracts or smog?  Joe promised they would wed, when he had enough cash and credit to get a mortgage on the hillside property. Fifty years and still no ring.  She savored this quiet time with her man. Tomorrow, fifty years of descendants would arrive to celebrate Mother’s Day. Nice, but noisy.