Grandmas Goulash

It has been more than twenty years, since Al Gore coined the term “information superhighway”. Although I understood the basic concept, I had no idea how large a role the internet would play in my life. An early version of Internet Explorer was installed on my workplace computer, but it was more of a learning novelty for the programmers. My employer, like most others, didn’t have a website and HTML code was still in my future.  Slowly, I found some use for this new toy. I opened my first Yahoo mail account, which I have kept for eighteen years.  Before long, I acquired a dedicated phone line for my home and learned the delights of online shopping. I even tried some chat rooms, although that was short lived.  Later, website development was added to my programming responsibilities and I created my own personal website. More time would pass before my introduction to social media. What was all the twitter about? And let’s not forget the blogging world. Nowaday...

“A whole workshop full of presents and Mrs. Claus wants jewelry from Tiffany’s.” “The elf who laundered these gloves will be spending next year in the unemployment line.” “Why are we sitting behind a car stuck in neutral? Have you forgotten how to fly?” You think you get stressed during the holidays? Just be glad you don’t have Santa’s job! Don’t worry. He sounds a bit grumpy right now, but I’m sure he’ll much more cheerful, when he’s finished his deliveries! Wishing you and yours much joy during this holiday season and throughout the coming ear. This week’s word was  neutral .

He said he was an old acquaintance. She didn’t want to offend him, but he’d certainly been forgot.  He’d overheard a friend call her by name. Now he smiled as she struggled to remember his.  His nose looked like Pinocchio’s. Was he lying? She could tell him to leave, but who wants to be alone on New Year’s Eve?   By the time the clock struck twelve, they felt like old acquaintance. Wishing all a happy and safe evening and a very Happy New Year!

Calico finished the semester with five A’s and one B and her mother is certainly proud of her. She is already preparing for next semester’s classes. Although she has taken the prerequisite course for a Data Structures class, the comparable class here uses a different programming language. She picked up one of those  Dummies  books and has completed about half of it. By the time she returns to classes, she should have no problem following the course material. It’s a shame that the transition from college programming to workplace programming isn’t as simple. It’s not the fault of the classes or the instructors; it’s just that real life is far more complex than any class.   Take data for example. Student programs are run against data that is significantly smaller than that found in most workplaces. Imagine that someone asked you to sort a list of twenty names. I bet you could do that easily. What if someone asked you to sort all that names in a New York City phone...

When we decided to homeschool Miss Muffin, some of our relatives expressed concern that she would not have an opportunity for socialization. In the subsequent years, we have heard that thought expressed by friends, neighbors and complete strangers. While traditional schools do offer opportunities for interaction, they are not the only place where socialization occurs.  Informal play outside of school provides plenty of peer interaction. So do more formal activities such as scouting, youth groups and community sports groups. Extracurricular lessons such as dancing, karate and swimming classes provide additional opportunities, as do activities available through church groups. Summer offers additional opportunities for socialization. We are currently considering ummer camps in New York and Vermont, as well as some closer to our home. Camping is a valuable experience for many children and offers opportunities to become comfortable making new friends, while engaging in a host of f...

Today began so comfortably. Calico finished her final exams yesterday and this morning we took plenty of time to chat as we enjoyed our coffee. Those days have been rare since her classes and work study job have had her rushing out of the house most mornings. Eventually she left to return a rental book and run a few errands, but the good feeling lingered. Miss Muffin and I enjoyed the antics of her kitten, who is determined to open the door to my bedroom. The spell broke, when Calico returned home and shared the tragedy at Sandy Hook Elementary. The day suddenly lost its mellow ambiance and although we returned to other activities, our thoughts and conversations kept drifting back to that awful loss. It fills the media too and elicits a question: Could this have been prevented? Sadly, today’s tragedy has no simple solutions. My heart goes out to everyone affected by this rampage. To those who lost a loved one, to those who feared for their children’s safety and to every parent, r...

A good cup of coffee ranks high on my list of life’s simple pleasures. Recently, however, it became a far more complicated one. It started when our old coffeemaker, a Hamilton Beach Brewstation, started producing rather tepid cups of coffee. Calico tinkered with it a bit, but we still had to use the microwave to get it hot. That helped, but the cooler brewing water had a negative impact on the coffee’s strength. It was time for a new coffeemaker. Calico came home with another Hamilton Beach product, a compact little one-cup-at-a-time machine that took up far less space. What’s not to love? The coffee, actually. The coffee arrived quickly and hot, but we couldn’t find a hint of coffee flavor. We did a little research. Suggestions included using a different brew switch, grinding the beans to espresso style powder and using a stronger coffee blend. We experimented and nothing produced a palatable cup of coffee. Yesterday, the one-cup was returned to Walmart and a 12-cup bre...

We celebrated the delivery of two new cushy brown recliners this week.  We had brought one recliner with us from Memphis, but it has been the only permanent seating in our living room since our arrival. We’ve been dragging our office chairs into the living room, whenever we want to watch television. They aren’t uncomfortable for desk work, but they aren’t the best seating for relaxation.  We finally found a pair like the one pictured at left. Their smaller scale made them a perfect fit for our living room and their smaller price worked with our budget. Only time will tell how they hold up, but, so far, they have enthusiastic thumbs up.  Now we just need to finish decorating. There was a day, when we would have been checking out accessories, searching for pieces to complement our new furnishings. In our quest to keep life simpler, however, we will improvise with existing pieces. That’s not a great hardship as we still have several unpacked boxes of them in the gara...

Sears seems to be experiencing some ambivalence about the future of its clothing departments. Just last March, after reporting its largest quarterly loss in almost a decade, the store announced its intention to discontinue clothing sales at a number of its stores. Customer interest, undoubtedly measured by sales, was focused on furnishings and appliances. That made sense to me. I’ve purchased appliances from Sears in the last decade, but my last clothing purchase was probably in the sixties.  Now, I’m seeing commercials that promote Sears as the place to buy trendy fashions. Perhaps they are relying on the Kardashian influence. They certainly have a fan base. If there’s any truth to tabloid rumors of Kim’s pregnancy, it might become the place for trendy maternity wear! J.C. Penney is another retailer, who is making changes in response to recent losses. They will be revamping their largest stores over the next three years to include a large number of boutiques within each ...

When I was young, girls played with dolls and boys got cowboy hats and building blocks. I didn’t care much for the cowboy hats, but I took every opportunity to play with their Tinkertoys and Lincoln Logs.  Calico and I made sure that Miss Muffin had plenty of building toys, but her favorites were cans of cat food. When she was barely a year old, she could stack an amazing number of cans to create high rise cat food towers.

‘Tis not the season for dieting. Everyone knows that dieting is over a month and many holiday indulgences away. I must confess that approach to weight loss has never made a lot of sense to me. With estimates of holiday gains starting at five pounds and spiraling up to ten, twenty or more, planning to diet after the holidays is a fine way to sabotage your weight loss plan before you’ve even started. Coupled with the high failure rate of New Year’s resolutions, it’s a sure plan for failure.  A few weeks ago, Calico and I decided to get serious and avoid the post-holiday rush. Weight loss gurus suggest having a diet buddy and that has always worked well for us. It’s hard to be the lone dieter, when other family members are indulging in tasty empty calories. We do better, when we keep diet-compatible treats on hand and banish the junk from the house.  The only positive thing about post holiday dieting is the abundance of diet products carried in the grocery stores. A ...

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Would this trip ever end? Even the dudes with the  walkers  were moving faster than Mom.  Bike rides might be healthy, but not after Mom had bean burritos for lunch.  The cobblestones threatened to shake his sole tooth out of its socket. Didn’t Mom know about suspension systems?  Enough was enough. He’d get a backbone and demand his own set of wheels. Just as soon as he’d learned to talk.  This week’s word was  backbone .

Miss Muffin is a pretty easy kid to live with. She’s a good student, generally well-behaved, helpful and in possession of a fine sense of humor. She has reached the lofty age of ten, however, and although she is still unashamed to hang out with us, even in public, she has started to notice that her mother and grandmother have a few imperfections. Most of her critiques are centered on music. Thankfully, she has gained some appreciation for classical. Although she wouldn’t choose it, she does listen and enjoy, whenever it is played. When it comes to those golden oldies, she displays far less tolerance. I was listening to oldies the other day and lyrics were floating in my head. “ Let’s rock, everybody let’s rock. ” The rolled eyes and incredulous look on Muffin’s face told me that the lyrics had escaped my head and made it to my mouth. I must have shuffled a bit too, because she broke down in fits of laughter. “Grandma’s trying to dance. She thinks she can dance.” Unable to r...

King Once again, Kong had gotten the biggest banana.   It was tough being the oldest. When Mama found squashed banana on the patio, King knew he’d get the blame.  Kong was a cute kid, but that was just another generic gorilla butt and not his most attractive side.  Kong That lump of banana had stuck in his throat. Would King ever stop daydreaming and perform the Heimlich Maneuver?  This week’s word was  generic .

Some hostess! Three days late for my own party. I was working on my stories on Monday, when Calico needed some help extracting data from an ancient pdf containing very poorly scanned images. After two days of trying various OCR tools, I finally found one that would do the trick without purchasing anything. Today, I’m back to blogging and hope that a couple of you are still lingering at the party.   Visitors from Planet Amphibian assumed human form in order to blend in, but their squat and hop navigation spoiled the effect. Earth was ruled by metallic monsters with foul breath and eyes that glowed at night. Croak checked an underbelly, looking for a soft spot.   Croak’s story ended tragically, when the monster roared and charged. Other visitors fared better and learned to thrive in the new culture. This week’s word was  amphibian .

I was certain that someone would guess this week’s product. Easy for me to say, since I already knew the answer.  The uniforms do have an airline look, but they aren’t. The cape and hat were worn by nurses. The cap style indicated the individual’s nursing school. I remember my mother donning her’s before making home health visits. She gave up the cape, while I was still young, but wore the cap with her white uniform for many years. The man’s hat is indeed military. I’ve shown a clearer image of the insignia on the cap. Notice the anchors at the bottom, a clue that this is a Navy officer’s hat. The uniforms, unfortunately, don’t provide a clue for the product advertisement. I can see why those gleaming teeth inspired guesses for dental products. If that was your guess, you were getting closer. I’ve composed another succinct story as a hint: It was rumored that she was 99 44/100% pure. Joe wondered if the remaining fraction would permit a kiss. If ...

“What a wonderful time to live. Folks were patriotic and optimism flourished.” “So did war, death and rationing”, Grandpa replied cynically.    She was pretty, but her face lacked expression. “Recent botox?” Joe wondered.  Not bad looking, but the guy was a bore. Reminder to self: Cancel online dating service.   Out of gas on a lonely country road? Flo was certain this was no accident. Fortunately, her cell phone was in her cape pocket.  This week’s word was  cynical .

Some things just are what they are. Fish swim. Birds, time and money fly. Grandma loves to consume chocolate and ice cream. Back in the days, when I exercised regularly and vigorously, I could afford to indulge myself. Alas, those days are gone and so is my waistline. Calico understands. She had hoped that walking around a large campus would cure the extra poundage that’s been accumulating. She hadn’t counted on the generosity of fellow students, who live on candy. So we’ve been working on eliminating empty calories and replacing them with moderate portions of healthy food. I was doing pretty well until last night. Halloween brings candy and no small proportion of it is chocolate. I’m going crazy having it in the house.  The diet gurus recommend a reward for meeting goals. If someone offered me a gold coin for staying away from the treats, I’d only have one question. Do the coins have peel off foil with chocolate inside?

My father died on Halloween, as the sky turned from dusk to dark. The lights inside continued to glow, illuminating his sallow countenance and catching the barely perceptible rise and fall of a chest drawing its last morphine-glazed breaths. If this were a ghost tale, I would linger on the symbolism of the day. I would illustrate my story with dark forms created by wind that swirled leaves around barren trees. I would recall ominous shadows outside the window, unexplained creaks in the walls or flickers of light drifting into the sky. These would be false.  He did not believe in spirits and none made their presence known that evening. The whir of machines, the soft footsteps of nurses and the muted conversation of family were the only backdrop for his exit from life. Like my father, I do not believe in ghosts. Yet, I hear his laughter as a breeze flows through his wind chimes. I see him in the work of leathery hands that preferred action over sentiment. I feel his presenc...

2525 Time traveler, R2D2, easily blended with 1980’s culture, but gifts from the natives caused a sticky situation in his innards. (125) 2012 “Look, Bella, Edward’s brought some trick-or-treaters.” “Have them wait in the library, while I find the blood substitute.” (122) 1721 His siblings suffered from too much book learnin’, but Wesley’s cannon volley skills secured his future as the next Dread Pirate Roberts. (137) I was going to feature a clip from The Princess Bride that included Dread Pirate Robert’s well known line: Good night, Wesley. Good work. Sleep well. I’ll most likely kill you in the morning. When I came across this parody, however, I couldn’t resist using it instead.

I find it surprising, but I seem to have lost my taste for music. Not all music, but I certainly don’t listen to it with the intensity that I did ten years ago. I don’t remember when I started to love music, but I do remember my intense desire to play the piano. Piano fostered my love of classical music and The Beatles were the first to lure me to rock. Jazz and blues were added in midlife.  There are a few genres that I have never been fond of, but I listen far less to the ones I do love. I realized the other day that I had eliminated most background music from my life. For years, I wore headphones almost constantly while I worked. Music played, whenever I drove the car. I played music when I read. I played music when I ate. Sometimes, I even let music lull me off to sleep. Now, I only enjoy music, if it has my total focus. Although I listen less, I enjoy it more. That’s true of many things in my life, I suppose. I no longer run until I drop and multitasking has been el...

Room to breathe and first choice of food. Who cares if it’s lonely at the top? A good job and a pool with a home. Howard loved everything about his life except the daily rush hour commute.  Bottom feeders never worry about keeping up with the Joneses. Plenty to eat too, if you don’t mind picking through refuse.  Did I forget to use the word of the week? Yes. I almost forgot to post this week’s SY, as some of you may have noticed. I chose this week’s word, as I didn’t dare wake Calico at 3am to ask for one! This week’s word was  forget . This song is a favorite. Calico and I sing it, whenever we talk about wanting something that is far beyond our means. Of course, we change the lyrics to “If I were a rich girl.” 

Calico and Miss Muffin returned home yesterday with smiles on their faces. Calico’s school and work keep her away from home for some fairly long hours. Miss Muffin doesn’t say much, but it’s obvious that she’s missing her mother.  Yesterday, Calico had a free afternoon and took Muffin to a corn maze. It wasn’t as sophisticated as the one near Memphis, but that didn’t stand in the way of their enjoyment. The visit was far less expensive than the city version and included more freebies, including animals to pet, a tractor-pulled ride, a pumpkin patch and a free pumpkin. The icing on the cake was meeting another homeschooling family. The kids had a great time together and phone numbers were exchanged.

I began my career as a computer operator for a large furniture manufacturer. One of the first surprises was the amount of physical labor involved in the job. From boxes of punched cards to boxes of printer paper, it seemed that I was always lugging something. The biggest surprise, however, was the emergency procedure. I knew what to do, when an alarm sounded. “Immediately walk to the nearest exit” had been the mantra chanted by my teachers in elementary school and it was upheld by the sadistic administrators who favored 3am drills at my college dorm. “First”, the lead operator explained, “you must shut down the computer.” What? Shutting down the mainframe involved more than flipping a switch. The process took about five minutes. I pictured myself surrounded by smoke and flames, waiting for the computer to shut down. If the computer was going to melt into a puddle of plastic and metal, did it really matter if the power was on or off? “While the computer is shutting down,...

Crowd’s Absur d Crisp air and loudly attired chairs or stuffy restaurant and loud-mouthed patrons? For Leona, it had been a no-brainer. One More Word Sue never left the café until her crossword was completed. Two days later, she would wonder when habit had become obsession.  Hadn’t Heard Obviously a tourist. Locals had stopped frequenting the café after discovering the black specks in the scones were not raisins. Succinctly Yours offers a weekly photo and word as inspiration for your microfiction. How low can you go? Choose the 140 character or 140 word option. This week’s word was  crisp .

Calico saw a group of Alabama students on campus yesterday. She didn’t know why they were visiting, but their crimson University of Alabama shirts were hard to miss in the sea of purple and gold attire worn by the Tennessee Tech crowd. It brought back memories of a bright red school jacket, the not-so-secret desire of my high school days. The jackets were primarily worn by athletes and cheerleaders, who had earned the school letter awarded for athletic achievement. The letter was out of reach for a budding geek girl, but the jackets could be purchased from the high school supply room for fifty dollars. My oldest brother, a basketball star, had been wearing his for two years. My other brother had been pestering my parents for one. “You can have one, when you earn a letter”, my parents had replied in unison. My heart sunk, but I continued to pursue my goal, squirreling away my babysitting earnings. I didn’t need to be mathematically gifted, however, to figure out that I would ...

She was the sole survivor. Youth, fresh and green, seemed detached; fleeting days of invincibility that had belonged to someone else. She had not relinquished them easily, employing the subterfuges of age. She had painted her face and donned bright colors. The world would see her beauty, not the lines that etched her countenance. Her friends were gone. A few, cut down in their prime, had been joined by more as time passed. Soon they had fallen in hoards until only a few remained. She had watched them cling with desperation until they could no longer remember why they held on. She had been so proud of her strength. Now the miserable chill of death permeated her being, but she had forgotten how to let go. A merciful god sent a brisk wind. A lone leaf floated away. Three Word Wednesday . is a meme that challenges writers to create something using three selected words. This week’s words are  brisk ,  detached  and  miserable . Click on the link to vi...

Shelley thought she was as sane as the next person. So why did everyone say she had rocks in her head?  Rocky’s passion for boxing was as plain as the misshapen nose on his face, not to mention his asymmetrical eyes and swollen lips.  Yes, he was a little green, but Joe was greedy for fame and certain he could make it as a rock star.

My mother was in her seventies, when she started thinking about joining the computer age. Both of her brothers owned computers and exchanged frequent emails. She didn’t want to be left out. My parents had planned a visit during the Christmas season, so I decided to buy her one. I opened an email account, arranged for an internet provider and installed Scrabble and Solitaire applications. Then I topped it with a big red bow and a Merry Christmas tag. My mother was delighted and I used the visit to teach her how to send email and play games. It was more difficult than I had anticipated. It’s easy to forget all the skills involved in using a computer. Using the mouse, opening applications and even turning the computer on and off were new to her. She was eager to learn, however, and by the time she left, I thought she would do well. She did do fairly well until something went wrong. Trying to coach her over the phone was difficult. She didn’t always understand my questions and I c...

The lights flickered out for a few seconds last night. There was some light rain outside, but no lightening, so I’m not sure what caused the momentary disturbance. It was enough to send Calico out to the storage shelves in the back of the garage to find some alternate lighting. She located some solar lanterns, that should have been out on the patio soaking up the sun, a couple of flashlights minus batteries and a few chunky candles, which haven’t been used for years, due to safety issues when Miss Muffin was young and then with cats that are undeterred by the highest of shelves. The battery powered lanterns, however, weren’t there. Hopefully, they haven’t become another moving casualty. They are far safer than candles and throw enough light for reading, even for my imperfect eyes. We got them after I knocked the power out at our Memphis home for almost a day. Not just for us, but for our entire neighborhood. It was one of those nights, when sleep seemed to evade me. I had t...

The small creek behind our house has been pretty dry since we moved in. That changed with recent rain that caused over five inches of water to fall in less than a day. It caused flash floods in some locations, but we didn’t see any of that. I rather enjoy being able to look out a window to view our small stream. While far too small to hold anything but a toy boat, the water got me reminiscing about the best summer of my childhood. My mother usually let me visit at my cousin’s house for a few days each summer. That summer, however, special circumstances allowed me to spend a month with them. My aunt and uncle owned a small motorboat and my aunt let my cousin and I take it out on our own. Weather permitting, we would pack a lunch and make the two mile walk to the lake. My mother would have put a quick stop to the visit, if she had realized what her sister was allowing two twelve-year olds to do, so I was careful to skip any incriminating details. I wanted those long glorious days ...

Calico was a bit disgruntled, when she left for school this morning. It is almost four weeks into the semester and she just received her work study assignment. Money earned through work-study is part of a student’s financial aid package. Getting all of those funds may not be important to every student, but for a single-mother on a limited budget, it is crucial. On the surface, the assignment seems great. She’ll be providing reading tutoring to second graders at a local elementary school. She’s done this type of work on a volunteer basis and really enjoys it. The problem?  Figuring out how to work those hours is something that is left up to her.  With the exception of a physics lab and a once per week evening class, all her classes are scheduled during daytime hours. These are the same hours that elementary students are in school. Sure, she has some free blocks of time between classes. The school, however, is not within walking distance and the campus parking situation...

The professor’s green generator introduced a bit of electricity into an apathetic class, while recycling confiscated reading materials. Ace student, Nerdie, felt running the crank was beneath him. Until he saw the alternative. Principal Spock viewed the classroom with dismay. “I told you to try a mind meld, Professor, not a mind melt.”   Succinctly Yours offers a weekly photo and word as inspiration for your microfiction. How low can you go? Choose the 140 character or 140 word option. This week’s word was  harvest .