Spring Flaws

Longing for spring? You're not alone. It's easy to be lured by green grass and budding flowers. But spring has it's flaws. Thirteen of them by my count.

1. Spring lifts your spirits with blue skies and warm weather. Right before it buries you beneath a late snow storm or encases you in freezing rain.
   
   
2. Stop looking at those little green shoots for a minute and you'll see rotting leaves, broken twigs, and garbage from wind-capsized trash cans.
   
   
3. Spring brings rain and it's dear friend, mud. It won't take long before pets and children share this outside delight with your home's interior.
   
   
4. Spring is synonymous with spring cleaning. Grandma's not pretending that she participates in this ritual, but she certainly feels the guilty weight of avoiding it.
   
   
5. Grass begins a new growth spurt, weeds compete to dominate the yard, bushes need trimming and the garden must be prepared for planting. If it were winter, you could be reading a good book by a toasty fireplace.
   
   
6. Everyone knows you gain a little weight in winter. And a healthful walk could turn into a health hazard on icy streets. Winter provides excuses. Spring banishes them.
   
   
7. New grass, budding leaves, blossoming flowers and plugged sinus cavities.
   
   
8. Green stuff seems to proliferate in spring. So do ants, flies and mosquitoes.
   
   
9. Whether they're selling security systems or religion, the door-to-door crowd is back. Not to mention their pint-sized counterparts, hawking candy for their sports team or summer camp.
   
   
10. Unless you have exceptionally large closets, you'll have to pack away the winter duds and bring out the warm weather apparel. It's more than the time. More than discovering that clothes have shrunk. When the exchange is complete, you know that the temperature is guaranteed to drop by twenty degrees.
    
    
11. Just when you're beginning to enjoy a little early morning light, the spring phenomenon known as Daylight Savings arrives and plunges you back into darkness.
    
    
12. Spring distracts children from chores and schoolwork. Even when their bodies are inside, you know their minds have already headed out.
    
    
13. Children are not the only ones distracted by spring temptations. Why just the . . .
    
    

What was I saying? Never mind, it's time for Grandma to go outside and play.

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