Grandmas Goulash

Tighter Than A Glove “He’s testing some newfangled adhesive. I think they should call it Super Glue.”   Neither Sideways Nor Above It was a tough career. First he’d hit a glass ceiling. Now, he’d got stuck making a lateral move.  Unrequited Love The man was irksome. She stayed inside, pretending she didn’t hear his ardent plea: “I’m really stuck on you.”  

Too Small “I don’t carry shoes that big, Ma’am.” “Maybe if I push harder. That old woman who lives down the lane gets lots of children in her shoe.”    Too Big His delighted sisters watched him disappear into the giant shoe. Sadly, EMT’s brought an x-ray machine to locate and retrieve him. Just Right One salesman fetched shoes. Another chased her raucous kids. Mama sat and relaxed. She hated the shoes, but loved the free childcare.  

Campus was a hive of activity last week as the university finished its last freshman orientation session and weathered “Great Move in Day”, the day when students return to the dormitories. Many of the 2,000 incoming freshmen were accompanied by parents. A fair number of these arrived from out of state and some from international locations. I cringed to think about the cost of airline tickets. Orientation sessions have been held throughout the summer and these are attended by both student and parents. Just a few weeks later, they are making the trip again. I had to hope that they knew how to find good deals on airfare. I learned about shopping for airline tickets the hard way. During the three year period that Calico and I were separated by a thousand miles, I flew north at least once a month for a weekend visit. At first, I just called the airline and gave my credit card information. A friend, who travelled frequently, showed me the value of making multiple phone calls. The first

Years of playing pinball had altered his perception of the world.  He’d ignored the doctor’s warnings about excess weight until he leaned against a pole and put the entire planet in jeopardy.   Look! Up in the Sky! It’s a Bird…It’s a Plane… ** wipes eye ** No, it’s a bird.  

Ready To Compete? Mark, Seth and Ringo, aka On Your Mark, Get Seth, and Go, were prepared to win.   Losing His Feet? Spotting the infamous pool cryptid, two divers stopped just in time. Zippy was not so fortunate. Getting A Treat? Neither snow nor rain nor heat, not to mention a pool, would stop them from reaching the ice cream truck first. 

The sign said MGM. Did that stand for Mighty Good Meals?   The no frill production lacked a dressing room and the props made B_grade look lavish. The two snacks were nerdish, but probably tasty.   Cut! Interesting idea, but he preferred teeth to knives.   Is this a roar or a very satisfied burp?