Translatable

The best language courses go beyond textbook English and teach idioms as well. Even so, I've found that some of the most important ones are missing. Here is a list of common sayings and their translations:

1. I don't mean to be rude, but . . ..
   Prepare to have your feelings hurt
   
   
2. Thank you for being a valued customer.
   Prepare for a sales pitch.
   
   
3. With a 90% chance of precipitation.
   It's going to rain
   
   
4. With a 90 % chance of blue skies and sunshine
   It's going to rain
   
   Number 3 and 4 are particularly tricky.  In areas of extreme drought, they mean unremitting sunshine.
   
   
5. I'm sure you'll have better luck next time.
   Come on. Spend your hard earned money on more lottery tickets.
   
   
6. Left lane closed in 500 ft.
   The right lane will now be filled with bumper-to-bumper traffic that would rather wreck their car than let you merge.
   
   
7. Time limited offer
   You will be listening to this ad for months
   
   
8. Critic acclaimed movie
   Most of us will neither understand or like this one.
   
   
9. Download for free.
   Be prepared to provide your credit card information.
   
   
10. Even a child can do it.
    Only a child can do it.
    
    
11. Easy to learn. Simple to operate.
    Not even a child can do it.
    
    
12. Get out of debt forever.
    Give me money you can't afford to part with.
    
    
13. That dress is really you!
    I work almost totally on commission
    
    

I hope you've found this list helpful. Because you are a valued customer, Grandma would like to make this time-limited offer to download more translations for free. They are so easy to learn that even a child can do it. Order in the next minute and I'll also provide free information on how to get out of debt forever. Does that sound good? Had I mentioned that there's a 99% chance of sunshine tomorrow?

Grandma is delighted to be a participant in the Thursday Thirteen meme. You should check it out.

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