Tuesday, January 26, 2010

You've Got My Number

Phone service has come a long way from the 8-party line. Or has it?

With a party line, I had to listen for a ring that identified whether the call was mine. It was a small interruption. But some days, the phone rang incessantly – for other people.

I've had a private line for years. Yet, after multiple interruptions one day, I realized that none of the calls were for me:

Good morning. I'm Lisa calling to ask for your support in reelecting Bob Smarmy.
 Sorry, Lisa, I've already promised to support my cat.

Good Morning. I'm Cheryl, your account executive, at Cashless Credit Cards. I'm calling today to offer you an exciting new card. You say that you're on the National Do Not Call Registry? Ma'am , that only applies to companies you don't have a business relationship with. Since you already have a credit card with us . . .
 So why do I want another one?

This call is for (pause, automated voice) Sam Brokealot. We are calling to discuss an urgent personal business matter with you. If you are not (pause, automated voice) Sam Brokealot, please hang up now . . .
I'd be glad to.

Good morning. I'm David at the The Fire Ant Foundation. I'm sure you're as concerned as I am about the threatened extinction of these delightful creatures. I want you to know that you can help. Can I count on your donation? . . .
 Of course, David. Put me down for 5 gallons of insecticide.

Good Afternoon. This is Glenda, your account executive at Cashless Credit Cards. I'm calling today to offer you an exciting new card...
What happened to Cheryl? And no, I haven't changed my mind in the last two hours.

This call is for (pause, automated voice) Jennifer Fundless. We are calling to discuss an urgent personal business matter with you. If you are not . . .
 Click.

Good Afternoon. This is Bob at Static Cable. We want to be sure that you are getting good reception on your TV. While we're talking, I'd like to tell you about some exciting new cable packages …
Yeah, that cost three times as much as my current one.

Good Evening. This is Lucifer, your account executive at Cashless Credit Cards. I'm calling today to offer you an exciting new card . . .
 Lucifer, you know where you can go...

This call is for (pause, automated voice) . . .
Click.

Hi! It's Betty. Wondered if you'd like to come over for dinner tomorrow? . . .
Click. Oops! That one really was for me.

Remember party lines? Ah, those were the good old days.

Grandma

3 comments:

  1. I remember them.

    Thanks for the much needed laughs today. This post was priceless. =)

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  2. As miserable as I feel I got several good chuckles from this, thanks.

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  3. That's hilarious! In a sad sort of way. Ha! Ha! I don't remember party lines, but I DO remember when there was a coiled cord attached the phone to itself. I remember when the phone rang and you just answered it, because unless it was the rare wrong number, it was someone you probably WANTED to talk to. I remember when you had NO idea who was calling. Unless, of course, it was your boyfriend you called at the same time every day. I remember when you had to carry a dime with you at all times in case you HAD to make an emergency phone call while you were out. I do miss those days.

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